So K. is in Kindergarten now and each child has their own week to do a glorified show and tell about their life, their family, toys, clothes, favorites, etc. Parents are also asked to come in to do a 10 minute presentation in class. Up to this point, kids in K.'s class don't know he has two dads. He will refer to a Papa and a Daddy, but as he is in French school, some kids think he's talking about the same person.
Leading up to the presentation, I had a talk with K.It's something I do from time to time as we talk about where he came from, how he came to us, and how most kids don't have 2 dads.
Me: You know, K, you'll be hearing about lots of different families in class.And ours is different from most of them.
K.: I know, I know.
Me: Cause first of all, the way you and N. came to our family is different.
K: Yeah, I was in a foster family and had lots of people in it and now I'm adopted.
Me: And you have 2 dads.
K: Yeah, and I hate that!
(Oh crap... this was bound to happen at some point, here comes the dreaded conversation).
Me: Oh, you don't like having 2 dads?
K: No, I love my family. (me: phew) It's just that I want a mom too.
Me: Ah, well, you know we have grandma and Aunt Lori who are there for you.
K: Well Aunt Lori is at home with Sarah and Andrew and she isn't here for me all the time.
Me: You're right, but some families don't have a mom at all.
K: Like Stephano, his mom died cause she exercised too much and her heart stopped and now she's a star.
(The conversation then diverged into more metaphysical fare, about how people die and become stars, but I picked up on it later)
Me: so you know K, Daddy does a lot of the things a mom does.
K: yeah, I now. But I still want a mom.
Me: Well, some moms don't do the things I do, not all moms give hugs or make lunches or all the other stuff I do to take care of you.
K: I know... but I still want a mom.
(I let it go at this point, but instead of feeling the horrible sense that I was depriving him of something, I realized he was saying it in the same way that he told us that he wanted a second dog. It's nice to wish for, but not very likely to happen. And I'm sure Stephano wished he could have his mom too. So as I got over any residual guilt over depriving him of a mother he then went on later to test me by pushing the "mom button".)
Scene: K. opening a kitchen drawer and pulling out a pizza cutter.
Me: K: put that down, you're going to hurt yourself.
K: A mom would let me use this.
Me. bwa-ha-haahahhahahahahahahahahahah! um, no.
Scene: breakfast time, K reaching for candy.
Me: K., you're not having candy for breakfast.
K. A mom would let me eat candy.
Me: bwa-ha-haahahhahahahahahahahahahah! um, no.
He is now completely disarmed. Because in his world, the mythical mother is a fairy granting every 5 year old wish his little mind can come up with. But I had a mom... I know the reality. She's the one who threatens to bring out the fly swatter when you get out of hand. (Thanks Mom!).
