Daddy Diary 8 - 6 Months Already (June 2009)

Well hello everyone... it's been a long time since my last update (back in March actually) so this volume is way overdue. Sorry to all my fans out there (lol!) But being a daddy is just somewhat time consuming and it can be hard to find time for myself let alone dredge up the energy to reframe the joys of parenting a 2 year-old into humorous anecdotes just for your reading pleasure. So why this e-mail now? Well, loyal readers, what some of you don't know yet, is that we have managed to score the impossible. Yes, Virginia, we have daycare!

What seemed the impossible dream came true and by the grace of K.'s charm and sociability we bumped some other poor (less attractive and surely less extroverted) kids down the waiting list. In fact, what we learned is that having your name on a waiting list means nada. You need the daycare teacher to like your kid for him/her to get a spot.So, schlepping the little guy all over the place paid off in the end.And K. learned a valuable lesson that will serve him well in life:shameless flirting will get you everywhere.

The only downside to this daycare is that it is right next to a park.Yes, it's great for him during the day so he can play, but when picking him up in the afternoon it's then just another tantrum trigger. As soon as we step out the door, he lunges for the monkey bars while I try to carry him to the car. I wonder if they make blinders for kids?

So now the new adjustment I'm dealing with is being in an empty house and trying not to feel guilty (actually, I'm adjusting quite well!!!) What helps is that K. is having a great time with the other kids and despite a bit of whining this morning, there have been no major breakdowns with me leaving him there (yet). And it's really cute to see him with another little boy who is his age running circles around each other and essentially playing human bumper cars. Even more sweet is at the end of the day they all give each other hugs and kisses as he leaves. So even though I've gone through the horrible feeling of abandoning this poor child to someone else, I know he's in good hands.

I think what has also helped over the past few months is that K. has adjusted to our routine and he knows what to expect and that we are there for him (though we haven't quite adjusted to his routine of 5 am wake-up calls). What is amazing is that we no longer have the bed-time struggles that we did when he first joined us. We're at the stage where we have a story, a song (which Greg gets bored singing over and over again the same way, so he tosses in some Christina Aguilera vocal acrobatics from time to time), and then a group hug. We then put him to bed, tuck him in, kiss his bunny, kiss him and can make it out the door with not a word from him. It's night and day from the beginning where he would tantrum so much we couldn't even put the blankets on him to fall asleep cause he would kick and get all rolled up in them. Even more amazing is that the same thing is happening at nap time now too.

So aside from these wonderful changes, another big change happened. K. officially turned 2 in May. So now his tantrums are age-appropriate.lol! And he continues to be off the charts for height and weight.Everyone confuses him for a 4 year old, until they try to talk to him.He's still relying on mostly hand gestures to get his point across (which he'll probably revert back to once he's a teen), but more words are being added to the mix. Most words are food related: nana for banana, nun-yon for onion (don't ask me why this is a word he knows), and moooo-ore for more (yup, the first part is done like a cowmooing.) Oh, and he does ask for things politely... deeee is please.But of course, being 2, "please" is more of a command than a request.Not complying with said request at all (or even quickly enough) is grounds for a face plant to the floor with a giant "Noooooo!".

But K. reserves his best ear-piercing shrieks for the greater public now. I'm becoming one of "those parents" who has one of "those children" in public places. Mostly I just pick him up over my shoulder like a pack of screaming potatoes and hope it dies down. One day when leaving the park, I think a 5 block radius was informed that K. was not happy to be leaving. So yes, daycare is much appreciated (if only to give a bit of time for my eardrums to regenerate).

So now that it's been 6 months that K. has been with us, I guess it will soon be time for me to start thinking about getting back to work.... but there's still a bit of time for that (phew!) What I plan to do with this time for myself is take naps, and exercise to burn off all the Nutella I used to stave off massive sleep deprivation. I need to fit back into my work clothes after all... what's depressing though, is that K. has a better wardrobe than I do!

Anyway, that's it for now. I could go on about the many mundane and funny things that have happened since the last installment. I could elaborate on the case of the rolling poo, or how I learned through "Go Diego Go" that all dinosaurs were hispanic, or how kids want you to get into their kiddie pool with them even though the water temperature is just slightly above zero, or how having a kiddie-pool and a sand box next to each other is a recipe for a sand-coated kid, or how kids who watch you shower will eventually mime out all of your actions in front of family and friends. But, I'll just let you imagine the hilarity.

Oh and before I sign off, one last piece of good news. As of this past Monday, K. has become officially adoptable, so that means that within6 months, K. will share our last name and we will truly be hisforever- family. Although in our hearts, this has already been the case since December. (awwww...!)

Anyhow, wishing you all a great summer (it's coming, I know it is!)
Till next time!

Daddy Diary 7 - Month 3 (March 2009)

Well, it's been a while since the last installment, mostly cause K.'s naptimes have been fluctuating this past little while. Some mornings he's passing out at 10 am, others around noon, and sometimes he's down for 2 hours and other times just 40 minutes (then there's the 40 minute nap in bed followed by the 45 minute nap on daddy's lap on the couch after he insisted he was ready to get up). I'm never quite sure how long a break I'm going to get, but this morning should be good. We went to Ikea where he wolfed down a huge second breakfast, tried out almost every sofa in the store, painted a green shamrock in the kid's section and then raced up and down the aisles in the self-service section. His head dropped the second I put him in the car. Heh. Daddy has his tricks too.

It's hard to believe that it's been already 3 months since he's joined us. Time is going by so fast, and it's also amazing to see how much he has changed since he first joined us. He definitely grew taller, and has attached himself to us enough to now decide he wants to be independent about everything. Yup, the terrible twos have arrived 2 months early. As of last week, K. has added a new word to hisvocabulary: "no". This is usually paired with a emphatic shaking of the head (or a face plunge to the floor). So now diaper changes are again being refused, turning off his videos creates a monster, and telling him that the cat is not a squeezetoy also brings out the devil in him. I tell ya, parenting is really all about learning patience.Some days are better than others for both of us... but I'm slowly becoming immune to the ear piercing shriek (or pretending to) and just letting him cry it out.

But, as he is a Gemini, everything does have two sides. Two other words

he picked up are: Dada and Papa. Never mind that he mixes them up, it's music to the ears to hear the little guy call us.

As for keeping busy, K. and I have been doing some outings. We went to a place called Zig Zag Zoo in Vaudreuil which is basically a giant hamster cage for kids. He enjoyed the slides until he discovered the little carousel ride (you know the kind they have in the malls). They should call these things tantrum machines, cause whether you put the loony in or not, you're going to get a scream at some point. Whether it's cause you didn't give him the ride, or cause at some point you have to take him off, it's inevitable. We got lucK. one day though. As there are 3 horses and K. showed up just as a set of twins was getting on, he mooched 2 rides. Then a dad brought his little girl and he let K. get on too.... the little girl shrieked as soon as it started and got off, so K. had a free ride on his own. I wonder, is there a proper etiquette to these things? I wasn't sure if I should hand the dad a loony, but in the end, didn't. All in all, he got 4 free rides that day. So I'm raising a successful little beggar. lol.

Yesterday we went to the Aquadome in Lasalle. They have a great area for kids, complete with miniature slide and huge water fountain. The water is nice and warm, but we don't want to think about that too much. K. had a great time splashing around and I have to say, he cuts quite the figure in his speedos and diaper. What I find amazing though, is how much bigger he is than the other kids his age. He's going to tower over everyone in playschool. It's funny cause all the mom's (and their kids) ask, is that a BABY? Yup. All 40 pounds of him.

And though he's growing up fast, as I said before, vocab-wise, he's taking his time, but we did see some progress in the early stages of potty training. We bought him a potty and a seat for the toilet and of course they all have cartoon characters on them. (Gives new meaning to the show "Go, Diego, Go!".)  We did have success one night after his bath and celebrated like fools. But we're taking it one step at a time for now. Though not changing diapers would be a welcome treat for me I think we'll wait till he's two and it's warmer for him to parade around in his skivvies.

Otherwise life together has been good. Though most of my time is spent accompanying K. through his many discoveries (like him discovering the grain in the wood floor that he thinks he should be able to rub off) K. has graduated to playing a bit more independently now, so when I'm cooking he'll play on his own. One toy he loves, but is quite tiresome is his globe that talks to him and speaks out the names of the countries when he pushes a button. But since K. is more interested in pushing the button repeatedly, it sounds like a geography lesson from Rain Man. "Ant-ant-an-an-an-ant-a-a-a-a-ant-Antartica"

Anyhow.. that's about it for now. All the best to everyone, and will store up a few more adventures for the next installment.

Daddy Diary 6 - Month 2 (Feb 2009)

Well here we are already in February and I still haven't gotten used to writing 2009 as the year yet. Hope you all are doing well.

As for my continued intensive parental training, I've officially crossed some huge milestones. The other week I was finally christened by K. one early morning. Yes, what most parents deal with when they have very little ones, I got to experience with my not so little one. Picture it: St-Laurent, 5 in the morning. A weary father stumbles out of bed shuffling to the bedroom of the little one whose cries awoke him. He struggles to put an arm through a sweater as he climbs the stairs. Once in the child's room, he kneels down to hug and console the little crier. The little one rests his head on dad's shoulder, sighs and then, blort! vomits all over dad's shoulder. Thank god for the sweater, the dad thinks. (and also, ewwww!) And though once upon a time being vomited on was reserved for those unlucK. roller coaster rides (Picture it, La Ronde, June 1992, a hot summer day on theMonster...) I actually surprised myself by not gagging.  (so now I'm officially a parent) Of course the vomiting was just a prelude to what was to come. Little K. ended up coming down with a major cold and again, he was happy to share. So I got to experience another parental milestone - the clinic!!! (duh-duh-duh!!) As it is impossible to find a pediatrician (and daycare space for that matter) for either love or money, we ended up going to the Tiny Tots clinic in Pointe-Claire. We wouldn't have needed to go, but K. decided to start pulling on his ear one night and after earning my vomiting parent-scout badge, I was not up for also earning the ear-infection badge in the same week. Luckily we live in the age of the internet, and I was able to get an appointment on-line for the next morning. As we got to the clinic, I couldn't get over how full the parking lot was. It was like boxing day at Fairview, only the parking lot was full of whiny sick kids (and many unhappy parents). Then as I stepped into the door. I got a vision of an old Soviet Bread line, parents were lined up around the corner holding their little ones under arm waiting with a desperate (and somewhat hostile) gleam in their eyes. Meanwhile, daddy Marc with his internet appointment was seen on time, and was in and out within 10 minutes. (Bwa-ha-ha!). Turns out K. was just on the brink of developing an ear infection, but 2 days of advil did the trick. But through dealing with K.'s cold, I have uncovered the secret as to why my mom's purses were always filled with used kleenex. My jean pockets, my pyjama pockets and even my hoodie-sweater pockets were filled with kleenex new and used for that week. I'm sure the next few times I do laundry I'll be picking off kleenex lint from everything.

Aside from that, today I thought it would be fun to try out an activity with K.. I saw an ad for a kids' gym (called le petit gym) and went to a free introductory class. We were the only guys there (asusual) and we spent 45 minutes bouncing on an air mattress, doing summersaults (kind of), doing the wheelbarrow walk (kind of) and dodging tantrums (mostly other kids' tantrums). K. had a fun time crawling all over things, but when we learned the price of membership- $400 for 20 weeks!!!!!! we were out of there. Of course, I should have known it would be out of our price range when all the moms came in with their Starbuck's lattes, their girls were dressed in lululemon tights and they had their Philipino nannies in tow. heh. I can get by bouncing K. on our bed and tossing him into a snowbank is still free.lol!

And in terms of K.'s vocabulary. He has now added bread machine to his inter-species communication. As the machine starts up and kneads the bread, K. spins his finger around and makes the whirring noise. So no new words yet, but he is fluent in Kitchen Appliance. (He converses with the coffee machine, dishwasher, oven and now this). However, he also now roars like a tiger and barks with Phoebe when she gets fed.

As for tantrums, K. is getting much better. He's no longer in exorcist mode, and is crying like any average baby would. So Daddy and Papa are much more relaxed now that we aren't walking through the major tantrum mine-field. I think K. is too. But he still keeps us on our toes. Over the last week, he decided that getting his diaper changed was now grounds for kicking and crying. After a few days of this, daddy went on-line and learned about the very special diaper toy that keeps babies occupied. It's a $2.99 flashlight from canadian tire. Not even a fancy one, just an ugly yellow thing. Now when the diaper drawer is opened, there is no more kicking and crying, just K. on his back making designs on the ceiling and occasionally blinding his father.

But all in all, it's a joy to keep discovering each moment and feeling the role of parent become more and more comfortable. In fact I impressed the nannies at the gym today when they learned I've been a dad for only about 2 months. Yup, I look like I've been doing it all these 20 months (must be the circles under my eyes). :-)

Well, that's it for now. All the best to you all!

Daddy Diary 5 - One Month Already! (Jan 2009)

Hope the New Year has been going well so far for all of you. As for our little family, we've reached the one month anniversary of K.'s placement with us. Seems like it's been longer in some ways (can't remember life without him) and shorter in others (incredible how quickly he has adjusted to being with us). What has been great is that each day there is a new discovery, a new challenge and something to make us smile.

In terms of discoveries, K. comes up with them daily. He continues to develop his vocabulary and he has the words "hot" and "down" down pat. Though the word "hot" basically means anything that might be dangerous or anything that he can't touch. So Papa's computer is "hot". And as for "down", he helps make sure that the cat gets off the table if it ever jumps up - one day my head was turned and K. pointed his finger at the table and yelled, "down!". Sure enough, the cat was on the table and jumped down, suitably chastised... so at least we know that despite his limited vocabulary, K. is able to speak with other species.

Another discovery K. has made is all of his body parts and one in particular (one guess). He also has discovered that Daddy and Papa have the same body part and likes to make sure it's still there, especially when we're wearing our pyjama bottoms. This led to our discovery that K. needed his nails trimmed. :-) As for discoveries on my side, I guess you can say that I've been learning how to adjust to being the house husband with a toddler. It was rough finding things to keep him occupied until I realized that I could also go about my day and that he would just have to tag along. So he now watches as I do laundry, wash dishes, and cook (I made chocolate chip cookies and apple bread just to find something to keep him busy - I am sooo a Stepford Fag!). He also watches all my other activities that up until this point had been fairly private. So now when I shower I have a little face peeking in (and I do get flashes of Psycho when the shower curtain rustles) and K. is very much intrigued by the mechanics of elimination. I guess you can say that his potty training is beginning through modelling. Though I wish his observation wasn't quite so up close.

In terms of challenges, they are actually getting better overall. The tantrums have diminished and have downgraded to whining. Kind of like how a hurricane gets downgraded to a tropical storm. It's a relief, but you still have to board up the windows and sit tight. We are working on this though, and through Batshaw we have a parenting educator that comes in to give us advice from time to time. Some of it is useful, but other times it's like having a nagging in-law tell you how to parent your child. Our response has been to smile and nod and use what we feel works as best as possible. So far, it seems to be going well. We even had a few nights where K. waved goodnight to us from his bed and didn't howl as we left his room. (That was short lived though, the past two nights we are back to having to drop him back into bed after each time he climbs off of it). In fact the howling is so commonplace that when he is quiet we know he is up to no good (like climbing up on a chair and emptying all his drawers). And since he has trouble with sleep, we've had to make sure that if we drive back from an outing towards his bedtime, we have to keep him awake or else if he falls asleep in the car and is moved to bed, we'll have an hour of shrieking (as opposed to>the normal 20 minutes). So this saw me one time in the backseat next to him singing, "If you're happy and you know it shake your foot", and me shaking his leg repeatedly until we got home. Good times! heh. I'm now realizing the things parents have to do to get some peace. (So I can kind of forgive my mom for drugging my sister and I with Gravol so we would pass out on a very long car trip.)

As for things that make us smile, what I love is that he has a dance he does when I start my espresso machine in the morning. He sings along as the coffee beans are ground and shakes back and forth to simulate the grinding. Again, limited vocabulary,  but if you ever need someone to do a sound effect for a coffee grinder, he's your man.

In terms of the placement, we are supposed to have a meeting scheduled at Batshaw with the birthfather and all the social workers this week.This is for K.'s social worker so that he can file a complete adoptability report. We hope it goes well, but aren't quite sure what to expect. In the meantime, we're still having a visit from a social worker at least once a week. They will probably taper off to one visit every few weeks as they all have seen how well he is fitting in. K. has also gotten to meet extended family and little cousins and has managed to charm them all.

So all in all, life is going well, one month of parental leave already gone. 8 to go. Not missing work yet. (colleagues yes, but not thework) Though there are moments I would rather be sitting in a 3 hour advisory meeting rather than watching the wiggles for the umpteenth time. (oh, the good news is that K.'s tolerance of Barney the dinosaur is about as great as mine. 5 minutes in and he's already waving bye- bye to the screen!)

Anyway, want to say thanks to all who have been writing back and glad that you're enjoying these little moments when I have a chance to breathe.

Daddy Diary 1 - K.'s introduction (Dec 2008)

So as you all know, we're into transition week with K. and  everything has been neatly scheduled to allow us some time to get to know each other, learn his routines and have K. get ready for his move  to full-time living with us for Monday the 15th. All went according to  plan on Monday. We met at foster mom's place at around 10 am (with our  brand new car-seat <Thanks C&D!! ) so that we could go on an outing together. What better place to head for an outing but Angrignon mall!  Luckily he was more interested in the floor tiles than all the stuff  at Sears otherwise we might still be there. :-) The goal of our outing was to head to a pet store so that K. could get accustomed to the animals we have at our place. No worries there. All the puppies were sleeping, but K. encouraged their waking up with some taps on their glass dividers. (I think Phoebe (our dog) is going to be napping the same time as K.!) He also loved the fish and would have loved to dive in with the Koi in their giant pond. Luckily dad was there to provide a restraining arm (one that will get used, many, many times I think!)

We went to the food court next for a snack. He's really into the next age/size bracket cause it was next to impossible to fit him into the high chairs they had at the mall. K. preferred to sit on Greg and feed him french fries dipped in a lake of ketchup. Did I mention that Greg looooves Ketchup? <sarcasm  And the oscar goes to Greg, for the most believable "mmmmm!".> K. then decided that he wasn't all that hungry and thought that walking around the food court in circles would give Daddy Marc some much needed exercise. This became even more fun when K. began to wave at everyone and they waved back. How many laps did we do? All I know is that some of the faces became very familiar by the end of it.

Then it was time to head back home. At this point K. was happy to get  into his new stroller and get pushed back to the car. He was also happy to get home as K. has an aversion to 5 point restraints. This was just in time for nap time for foster mom to deal with the crankiness as Marc went home to busily clean and baby proof the house for Tuesday and for Greg to go to work.

And then Tuesday. Ah, wonderful snowy Tuesday. The plan was a 3pm-7pm visit with Foster Mom coming over to our house and leaving after an hour so that we could show him his new digs. The one hour visit with foster mom happened mostly on the Decarie autoroute. It was backed up from end to end. So K. was very happy to finally see his new place (even if it would have been a shack, all he cared about was getting out of that @##$ car seat.) Foster mom stayed for a bit and K. walked in circles (I sense a theme) and was thrilled with his new stuffed animals that actually moved (aka the pets). With all the stimulation he didn't notice the christmas tree too much yet. So far it's still standing.

I then drove foster mom to the metro while Greg continued the visit. Part of the tour was the bathroom where K. discovered the tub and a whole bunch of cool toys So when I got back from the drive, K. was ready to dive in. He puts on quite a water show and I think this will be his favourite time of the day. Then we got him all dried off and we were off to supper (ham and macaroni, yum... dads finished the left overs, brought us back to recipes from our youth). Then we were supposed to drive K. back home, but the Decarie was still jammed up. After 5 minutes in his car seat in a stationary car, we made an executive decision (and a ear-drum saving one) to head back home and we called foster mom and the appropriate authorities to okay his stay over night. Luckily Greg's work friends had bought some pj's so we got him dolled up and got him ready for bed. K.'s nighttime ritual involves lots of snuggling (which we love) and many big yawns in our ear, but for all that he fights sleep. So Daddy Marc got some more exercise walking 40 pounds of huggy-buggy K. in a circle until he was ready to lie down in his new bed. (Picture how a koala bear hugs on, and that's the right image). Of course Greg and I are already in love so the hugs just keep making it better. So aside from waking up around 11pm for some more snuggling (and a cleaner diaper) he went out for the night. Can't say the same for us. Each little grunt and sniffle kept pricking our ears up, so that Greg and I shared 2 hours of sleep altogether. But what a way to stay up, cuddled next to this snoring angel. We didn't miss the sleep one bit (until we had to actually function the next morning, heh).  

At 8:30 it was time to get up, breakfast and totter in circles around the kitchen island while being chased by Phoebe who was very interested in the piece of toast K. had in his hand. This is when the reality of how slow time can be when you are trying to think up of new ways to keep a todder occupied. (Yay, this new thing kept you busy for 30 seconds, now what?) But playing with blocks was fun, especially the dumping them out of the box and putting them back in to do it all over again. Then as the plan had originally been to keep K. for day, that got modified. After K.'s nap in the morning, we went back to foster mom. The transition back to her was a bit tough and he went straight back to us for more hugs before being okay to go back to his foster family. So all in all, the attaching with us seems to be going very well. He has no problem coming to us for comfort. That'll be a different story once he realizes that foster mom won't be around, but after our first night together (and many emotions) we now have a taste of some of the ups and downs we'll have at the beginning. All the rest will be regular toddler craziness

 So there you have the last few days. I'm learning quick though. I now know that coffees get cold quickly when you forget them cause you're chasing a little guy around. Also, don't bother making yourself a lunch, cause you're just going to eat his leftovers anyway. And finally, yes, you will do gross things when it is your own kid. ;-)

  More news to come! And thanks again for all your warm words of welcome for K. and all your support.