In Transit

So, we're into day 4 of the transition plan. The educator who is assigned to us has a 2 week plan of different activities we need to accomplish before N. comes to live with us full-time. Things like getting him dressed (check), changing his diaper (check), feeding him (check) and napping at our place (check). We still need to give him a bath and do errands with him. His worker will also come over and talk to him about his move, show him his bedroom and so on. As it stands, the official move in date is Sept 28th, but they will adapt it based on how N. is doing.

Last Friday the two boys met each other and all went well. N. greeted us at the door with the toy that Greg and I had used to play with him the day before. So he remembered us - good sign. Then we all went for a walk to McDonald's for some ice cream. He was fine being out with us and was happy to have K. to point out things like street lights and hubcaps to. (brought me back to when I took K. to the biodome and he was more interested in the airvents than the animals). They boys shared a sweet hug to say goodbye to each other and that was the end of the visit. It was hard for K. to understand that N. was not coming back with us right away.

(N. going for a walk with K., Papa and Daddy. N.'s face needs to be concealed for confidentiality reasons)

The weekend had no visits, but we kept talking to K. about N. and worked to finalize his room. I told K. that when N. comes, he will need a lot of love and hugs (and K. added, "and a lot of diapers!"). Yes, K. has his priorities right!

On Monday I brought our dog over for a quick visit as N. hasn't interacted with a dog before. The plan was to go for a walk together. The only problem is that our dog is over 15 years old and now has hip problems. We walked 2 steps and she'd flop down. However, this gave N. an opportunity to use his voice (the social workers say he has a speech delay, I say he's just 2)... so he would yell at Phobe, "come on!". Unfortunately, Phoebe is now deaf too. So instead of walking together, the interaction consisted mostly of belly rubs.

Yesterday (Tuesday), I picked up N. and he spent the morning and afternoon at home with me. He was thrilled to see the cat and this is his new friend. He enjoyed exploring his new home and playing with all the toys that K. had left out for him. I can really see the difference between N. and K. when he was first placed. K. was 18 months old and needed us to sit with him for everything. N., being 2, is more independent. Also, his foster dad is in his late 60's and I don't think spends much time on the floor with N. So while our social worker visited, N. played happily on his own with his new trucks. But of course, it's much more fun when Daddy sits down to send the cars crashing into each other.

N. (similary to K.) is a good eater and is also very communicative about when he's hungry. He'll grab a bowl and show you it needs to be filled. So we had a good lunch together and then it was nap time. This was the only "iffy" moment of the day as he started to cry if I backed out of the room. Having been especially trained by K. on managing such interactions, I lay down beside him on another mattress (oh, did I mention that I have in-laws visiting while all this is going down? They are sharing N.'s room for the moment). He settled quickly after this and had a good nap. On waking up there was a little shout that I would translate as "where the f--- am I?" but as soon as he saw me, he was fine. We played a bit more and then it was back to foster home for supper.

Today the day will be similar except that tonight N. will join me to pick up K. at daycare and then we will drive him together to foster home. Meanwhile, daycare shared with me that K. is a little bit more rambunctious than usual (i.e., he's getting into trouble). They know about the transition and expect more of the same... but it'll take adjustment on all our parts.

In any case, things are underway!